I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
love makes seman taste better
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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