Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?

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  (707): so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before? http://tfl.nu/2y4h
  Replies (50) Good night (916) Bad night (5842)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker

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  (304): please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker http://tfl.nu/hr9i
  Replies (15) Good night (1323) Bad night (4237)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.

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  (816): I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ. http://tfl.nu/y7u3
  Replies (16) Good night (4259) Bad night (832)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.

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  (806): with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible. http://tfl.nu/qot7
  Replies (31) Good night (10390) Bad night (1360)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall

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  (248): had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall http://tfl.nu/12ne
  Replies (3) Good night (2448) Bad night (938)
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  (+91): View more from India

  I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.

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  (+91): I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin. http://tfl.nu/d09o
  Replies (7) Good night (2936) Bad night (1354)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises

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  (610): At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises http://tfl.nu/9m7h
  Replies (7) Good night (2307) Bad night (763)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night

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  (952): I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night http://tfl.nu/yysc
  Replies (3) Good night (2628) Bad night (1084)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?

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  (479): Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up? http://tfl.nu/43gp
  Replies (4) Good night (1784) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys

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  (512): We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys http://tfl.nu/ys3u
  Replies (2) Good night (836) Bad night (1232)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I will make you one.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it

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  (417): I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal. (417): I will make you one. (417): Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it http://tfl.nu/hpb9
  Replies (5) Good night (1061) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.

  (206): View more from Washington

  so that's what that room is for...

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  (253): she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows. (206): so that's what that room is for... http://tfl.nu/5gyi
  Replies (5) Good night (1161) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."

  (239): View more from Florida

  I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.

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  (412): wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends." (239): I hope you know that means regardless of their gender. http://tfl.nu/t7uy
  Replies (3) Good night (926) Bad night (424)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great

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  (773): Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great http://tfl.nu/433o
  Replies (2) Good night (864) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.

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  (949): He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year. http://tfl.nu/mbqy
  Replies (0) Good night (304) Bad night (411)

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