Texts From Last Night

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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...

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  (719): I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel... http://tfl.nu/j6ej
  Replies (13) Good night (2591) Bad night (595)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.

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  (403): My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator. http://tfl.nu/0m79
  Replies (12) Good night (1059) Bad night (3947)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone

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  (215): I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone http://tfl.nu/geen
  Replies (5) Good night (563) Bad night (2458)
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving

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  (848): a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving http://tfl.nu/nqcq
  Replies (25) Good night (6844) Bad night (795)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.

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  (425): Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie. http://tfl.nu/fd6n
  Replies (228) Good night (2438) Bad night (4562)
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  (818): View more from California

  I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.

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  (818): I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble. http://tfl.nu/68ay
  Replies (59) Good night (6142) Bad night (1356)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting

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  (201): i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting http://tfl.nu/qjw5
  Replies (7) Good night (1138) Bad night (3926)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.

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  (662): She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina. http://tfl.nu/uqet
  Replies (7) Good night (3983) Bad night (866)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.

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  (410): Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo (410): Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman. http://tfl.nu/b3bx
  Replies (2) Good night (1436) Bad night (949)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair

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  (570): I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair http://tfl.nu/vjbt
  Replies (3) Good night (841) Bad night (1300)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon

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  (480): Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon http://tfl.nu/8tqm
  Replies (3) Good night (707) Bad night (607)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere

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  (914): Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere http://tfl.nu/1kh6
  Replies (3) Good night (1278) Bad night (446)
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  (949): View more from California

  Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.

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  (949): Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame. http://tfl.nu/sj6o
  Replies (2) Good night (1182) Bad night (431)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept

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  (502): How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept http://tfl.nu/59ls
  Replies (13) Good night (495) Bad night (1616)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia

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  (972): On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia http://tfl.nu/s5pu
  Replies (6) Good night (228) Bad night (890)

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