Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug