Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
