I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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