One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
