this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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