I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
