Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
