I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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