I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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