Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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