I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
