he shaved USA in his pubs
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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