I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
