Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize