It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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