Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
