two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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