I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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