My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
