watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
