eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
