Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
