when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
