I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
COCAINE IS GR8
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
