There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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