my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
