Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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