I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
