Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
