Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
