No awkward lesbian experiences without me
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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