Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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