I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
