i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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