Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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