yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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