Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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