I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
