This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
