i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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