No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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