But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
