So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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