yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
