She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
