i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
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