I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
