i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
