Plan B is the new Plan A
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
