dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
