Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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