She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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