He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
