He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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