Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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