how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
