do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize