I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
