and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Everything about him screamed your future.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
