That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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