so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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