Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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