I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
