Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
