I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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