Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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